We live in a world of sin and imperfection. I am a child of God striving each day to live out my calling. Welcome to my blog where you get the inside scoop of this Child of God's life!
"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity." - 1 Timothy 4:12

Thursday, December 19, 2019

Loving My Jesus, The God of All My Days (In Memory of Naomi Jo Call)



For Grandma's Service: December 13, 2019
   Grandma Jo! What do you even say about the person who ignited a wildfire, not only in my soul but so many others? She will never know just how much of a blessing it was for me to grow up in the pew next to her. In these walls (St. Paul UMC) she was so much more than MY Grandma Jo, she was everyone's. Each Sunday she would take all of the children upstairs, gifting their parents a sermon free from parenting stress. The children were gifted so much more. For years that spanned more than I knew, Grandma was teaching the young people in this church how to be the church, know the Jesus, know scripture, and how to love like Jesus.
   When I was my daughter's age. I couldn't wait to be big like my cousins so I could sit in those little pews. Once I got there, a fire started in my soul. To this day I crave to learn more, memorize more, sing louder, and care deeper. Club cracker & apple juice communion will always be sacred to me. Lighting the advent candles, songs with actions, memorizing verses, sharing joys & concerns, singing Go Tell it On the Mountain, not running in the church, and definitely NEVER wearing a hat in the building were all just the surface of what she taught us in those pews. I took those lessons and tucked them deep inside and that flame fueled a life in ministry for me and a life of loving and serving deeply for all of us.
   Grandma like to give worry stones to people. A small rock with a cross that you can hold and rub while you say a prayer. Her life was never easy, but we never saw her worry, instead she prayed. Rocks are mentioned several times in the Bible. And like Peter was the rock the church was built on. Grandma was the rock this family was built on. And she made sure we knew that Christ was the only rock on which we would stand.
   Matthew 7:24-25 "Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the flood waters rise and the winds beat against the house, it won't collapse because it is built on bedrock."
   There are worry stones for each of you to take with you as you leave today. We hope they bring you peace and comfort like Grandma's hugs and remind you to turn to the rock eternal today, and everyday!


December 19, 2019
   Grandma has been gone for a whole week. It has been the little things that have stopped me in my tracks the most. To think about the legacy this woman left is overwhelming. She is in everything, everywhere I go. Every part of my day has a piece of her in it. From the cross around my neck, the rock in my pocket, the plants in the office, the puzzle picture on the wall, to driving by her building, sharing her middle name, to the tears in my daughters eyes.
    This morning out of no where on the way to town, Adah started crying. This has happened a lot in the past week. When I asked her what was wrong she said, "I miss Grandma! Why did she have to died?" I responded, "I miss her too, it was her turn to be called to Heaven to live with Jesus, remember she is happy now, she isn't in pain or sick anymore." Adah said "I know, but I can't hug her anymore. I have never been to Heaven." Through tears I said, "I know sweetheart, her hugs were the best, and we can't visit Heaven it doesn't work like that. Just remember she is with Jesus and Grandpa and she so very happy now!" "Look mom, an airplane!" And just like that we moved on to the excitement of airplanes in the sky, Baby Jesus in front of someone's house, and driving over the train tracks. She has moved on with her day at daycare and I was left stuck in the tears of loss. So, emotionally wounded I sit at my desk, inspired to finally write down my feelings, while listening to Casting Crowns and remembering all the good things.
  Grandma Jo has left the most incredible legacy behind. She had 5 children, 15 grandchildren, and 19 great grandchildren. This doesn't include the spouses and all of the extras who are as much family as those who share her DNA. She instilled in all of us hard work, stubbornness, and loving and serving people. She loved Jesus with every ounce of who she was, even on her last night she was studying His word. Her knowledge and love that she shared so freely with us came from her own desire to know and love Him more. She was always interested in what I was learning in college, and then when I moved on to full time ministry she wanted to know what I was teaching. She made the trip to watch the first Christmas Program I led, and I was so humbled trying to fill her shoes. I used her creepy Baby Jesus, and was offended when my youth called it that! Grandma went with me to college, to camp, to Hesston, to Derby, and back to camp. This week I have wanted nothing more than to wear her Moomoo, eat waffles, play farkel, and give her a hug.
   Instead I find myself marveling at how much she resembled her name sake in the Bible, Naomi. A widow at a young age, with a rough rode ahead of her, she could have stayed in a world of bitterness, and allowed the world to know her as Mara, but instead she focused on love and raised her five children, worked harder than anyone I know to make sure they never needed anything. She loved each one of her grandchildren as if they were the only one. We each have our own stories of her and they are all so beautiful. She was the most blessed great grandma as she welcomed each one into the family and loved them fiercely. These past few years have been really hard on her health, she battled leukemia and won and a lot people in her life didn't even know, because she didn't dwell on it. Her stubbornness carried her through a house fire, broken arm, and a UTI all this year. And then when she was feeling better than she had in a long time, sound mind, and content heart, she went to sleep in this life and woke up in the life eternal. She finally celebrated an anniversary with Grandpa after 42 years apart. And I imagine her in awe of the God of all her days as she is surrounded by perfect peace.
    I know I will continue to be stopped in my tracks, the tears will fall, and my almost four year old will continue to ask why she can't have a Grandma Jo hug, but I can't stay here in this grief. Because I am a part of her legacy. I am part of what she left behind. And her dream for all of us was to love and know her Jesus. She wanted us to be on fire for him, serve him, turn to him, and most importantly know him like she did.
   He is the God of all My Days, and I want the world to know me like they knew her, for Loving My Jesus!
   We love you and miss you Grandma! Thank you for making us your legacy! <3








Friday, August 2, 2019

We Are the Laborers in Your Vineyard...

We are the laborers in your vineyard, declaring the Word of the Lord. This is a line from one of our beloved camp songs. Tonight as we wrapped up our summer with dinner, awards, and worship this line struck me. Our 21 counselors belted this with all they had, before saying goodbye and heading down from this mountain top. This summer I was blessed to tend to this flock as they poured their hearts and souls into campers for nine weeks. Nine weeks, 1241 kids, countless moments sharing God's love. These college students could have chosen to do anything with their summer. They chose to go into the Lord's vineyard and work to plant seeds, bear fruit, prune vines, & prepare for the harvest.

In May when they got here they were twenty one individuals from twelve different campuses, tonight they are the family that is the Horizon Staff of 2019. They have lived together, fought together, served together, loved together, changed together, & grown together.

When you give up yourself & your summer to come to church camp you can't help but walk away changed. The lives you come into connection with, the hearts you watch change, the walls that crumble, the faces, the memories, the moments, they stay with you forever. This group came together like none I have seen before. They were instantly friends, they played long and hard together, and they tackled each day as if it were the only one they got. I watched them grown, break, and rebuild this summer, individually and together.

This summer was so much more than water balloons, messy games, hikes, dance parties, and Chaco tans. This summer was about the campers, which in turn made this summer about the counselors. In doing the good, hard work which is summer camp, they did the good, hard work which is personal and spiritual growth.

Lord, thank you for bringing this group together. Thank you for providing this space and time for this group to come together and serve you. Lord, please hold each one of them tight as they leave this sacred place. Help them to know you and serve you each and every day. Make your path known to them so they can live into your call for their lives. Remind them daily that they are loved, cherished, chosen, and here for a purpose! Amen!



This summer we were "Broken Vessels" that "Just Want(ed) to be a Sheep." We remembered "The Days of Elijah" and the day that "Death Was Arrested." Lord, you became the "King of My Heart" and "My Lighthouse." "Come Now is the Time to Worship" as we breathe the "Holy Spirit" and remember we are "Who You say I am." "This is Amazing Grace" please "Build Your Kingdom Here"

Tuesday, July 23, 2019

Loving My Jesus

Wow, it has been a long time since I have written on here! I used to have all kinds of inspiration and words to write. I think it is safe to say that this season of Motherhood has taken my free moments when I used to create words! :) 

Tonight I have just felt off, not sick and nothing really wrong, just off. Tonight as I rocked Adah before bed, she decided to randomly pick a different song than we normally rock to. She selected "Loving My Jesus" by Casting Crowns. Now the chorus is stuck in my head, and here I sit in the office typing!

These are the words playing in my heart tonight, 

Loving my Jesus
Showing my scars
Telling my story of how mercy
Can reach You where You are
And I pray the whole world hears
The cry of my heart
Is to see all the ones I love
Loving my Jesus

This morning I had a chat with one of the counselors who is discerning his future and where God is calling him to be. This is one of my favorite parts of my job! During this conversation, I shared pieces of my own ministry journey, the highs and lows, and where I heard God calling loud and clear and where I sat in despair wondering if I misunderstood. 

It is so easy to stroll through life with a false confidence, looking and acting as if I have it all figured out. And yet the moments that I live for, are when I am able to be real and honest, which requires me to show my scars and flaws. Tonight this has me pondering how different this world would look, if we all showed our brokenness and used our scars to serve others? Why are we so scared to be our true selves? 

Why do we put on the front of having it all together, when those around us are feeling things that we know so well? 

If more people were honest about how tough marriage is, would we have less divorces? If parents didn't feel so isolated in their exhaustion and stress, would more children have beds to sleep in and hugs and kisses? If more people were honest about how their bank account is empty and they are living on a prayer till pay day, would more people have full tummies and bills that are paid?

We live in a nation that strives for perfection and having it all together. There isn't any part of the American Dream that shows a person battling mental health and still providing for their family. No, the American Dream shows us perfect people making lots of money, owning houses and cars, and perfect happy smiling families.

I have a different dream. My dream for over a decade now has been Agape Dreams. God's Love in this world in deep, power, lasting ways. I really believe for this to happen we must be who we really are. In a transparent, #nofilter kind of way!

What are your scars that God might be calling you to share with someone tonight? Could your rocky marriage save someone else from walking away? Could your tithing journey help someone out of debt? Could your years of parenting a stubborn sleepless child help a mother who is at her whit's end?  Could your homesick, middle school self, convince a current middle school child to stay at camp just one more night? 

You have walked your journey, you have a purpose. Love your Jesus and share Him with those you love in the way that only you can! 

Ecclesiastes 3:11a "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart;"

Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."