Rocky Mountain Oasis

Oh my I think I fell in love with this book. I'm trying to read through books that are already on my Kindle and not spend any money on them. So I stumbled across this one. I don't know who on my parent's Amazon account purchased this book but I'm very thankful.

This is yet again another Christian Fiction/Romance book. I think I'm going through a phase!

Rocky Mountain Oasis by Lynnette Bonner is book 1 in the Shepherd's Heart series. It is about all I can do not to purchase book two and keep reading but I must read the other books first! I must!

This book actually started off quite slow and slightly confusing. It bounces from different character's perspectives and it isn't until these different character's lives cross paths that things start to get interesting. The main female character Brooke is a mail order bride coming in a wagon from St. Louis. The main male character is Sky and he lives in Idaho. Brooke is supposed to marry Jason but once Sky hears about this marriage he can't shake the idea of a poor girl marrying a man like Jason. Through prayer Sky makes the decision to buy the rights to marriage from Jason, and he does. Brooke and Sky are then married and they begin to figure out how to live their lives together.

Brooke has a past of being abused by the men in her life and she is jumpy and scared to death of Sky. This breaks his heart and he continuously prays for her to come to God and to trust him. This story is much more than just a Christian Romance book. There is a murder in town and the investigation takes a huge chunk of the book and brings in some suspense. Brooke and Sky's lives are in danger at one point and I couldn't stop reading until I knew how it ended.

This was a fast read. I read in less than a week because once I got hooked I didn't want to stop reading. I recommend this to anyone looking for something good to read!

When the Saints Go Marching In

Last night I went to bed with this chorus stuck in my head

Oh when the saints go marching in 
When the saints go marching in 
Oh lord I want to be in that number 
When the saints go marching in 

I couldn't remember the rest of the words but that didn't really matter as I laid there in bed trying to go to sleep as the grieving process picked up again or started over, I'm not sure which, these words kept going through my mind. 

Yesterday a dear friend, mentor, grandfather, & church leader answered the final call and went to be with his savior. As I sat in my apartment crying my eyes out the main thought going through my mind was, "Why am I crying? You know where Jack is, you know that this death is not the end, this is not goodbye. Why are you crying?" So this got me thinking about death in general and the grieving process. There is no getting used to this, it doesn't get easier, unless you stop caring about people death is going to hurt. Death is not new to me, I have been to my fair share of funerals, but it seems to be bombarding my life lately. So death and life and living is something that I think about often. Death hurts because it is hard for our Earthly minds to grasp the idea of infinity and forever. When someone dies we can't see them anymore, we don't get to Skype with people that have left this Earth. All that we have left is their memories, and for a lot of us that is where we realize just how much we took that special person's life for granted. It hurts when someone else remembers something that we don't, or someone knew that person in a whole different way, maybe a way you never even saw that person. When you only know someone in their old age it is weird to hear stories about them when they were younger because that is not the person that you knew, so often it feels like you have missed out on something special. Then there are the thoughts that other people will never get to know this person, my future family, future children, and anyone else I meet from now on will never know this person because they are no longer here. This person will also never see the things that happen in my life from this point on. Would they be proud of me? Would they support my decisions? 

All of these things are thoughts that go through your head when someone you are close to passes away. Today, as the world feels like a different place in the absence of this amazing man I can't help but think about his life, and the legacy that he has left behind. 

Jack Speer, a pillar of St. Paul UMC. A man that has always been in my life. We may not be related through blood but Jack is family. I honestly don't have a lot of memories from my childhood except that I know he was there. He and Mildred sat in the same pew every Sunday, right by the Sound System, I think they sat there before there was a sound system. He liked to stick his boots out in the way as you walked by just to see if you would trip, he always laughed when he got you. He constantly picked on my dad as he ran the sound system, my brother and I decided last night it was because he couldn't hear anyway so why not mess around. Over the years he and Mildred moved closer so they could hear, and it was very rare not to see both of them each Sunday. I noticed one week that if you were dozing off in the sermon and caught yourself that in the blurriness Jack and Mildred looked the same from the back. I thought it was funny and then it became incredibly cute. I have never met a couple that looked more alike than these two. It was obvious that their relationship was built around God, because these two were meant for each other. They kept each other in check. Mildred teaches our one room Sunday School class and every week Jack could be found next to her trying not to fall asleep. He and my brother would sit there making fun of everything, and then suddenly he would announce that it was "Diddy Time" and Mildred would quickly wrap things up and we would pray. Then meet each other at Taco Bell for lunch. Jack didn't like Taco Bell, but he ate it anyway, because he and Mildred wanted to spend more time with us. I more often than not took those lunches for granted, and then they became the one thing missing from my Sundays when I moved away. Sometimes we would change things up and go to McDonald's, which was Jack's favorite place to go. I never understood why, because I've never really liked it, but man Jack was happy if he could have his McDonald's and sometimes he had it two or three times a day. 

Jack and Mildred had a hand or four in just about every thing that happened at St. Paul. From building things to working in the kitchen they could be found everywhere, if you want to know how something was done in the past or who built what just ask them because more than likely it was them or they were there. They also have rental houses in town and the first house I lived in was one of theirs, over time my dad started working for them in the summers as their handy man. I'm not sure who enjoyed this more, Jack & Mildred or my father. Now, I'm a little jealous of all the time Dad got to spend with them and of my brother because he now lives in one of those houses. 

So last night as I laid in bed with all these thoughts running through my head and tears running down my face it was more than obvious that this man was someone who will not easily be forgotten. He has left his mark on more than the walls he has created, but in the lives of everyone who had the pleasure of meeting this more often than not grumpy old man! ;)

This left me thinking, we have job to do. Jack did so much, we can't just let all of that stop now because he is gone. Then I started thinking about the other amazing men that passed away this summer, Scott MacLaughlin & Harold Lutes. They too left a legacy and left us a job to do. 

These men have shown us the way, they helped carve the path that we should follow. Our lives should scream out God much like the lives of these men. God is continually calling people home, our lives on Earth are minimal, and we never know when it will be over. You hear it at every funeral and lots of conferences about being ready to go. This usually means do you know Jesus, have you accepted Him into your heart? But I feel there is more than that. Has your life meant something, have you built a legacy? Will people know who you were without a doubt, even if they didn't know your favorite color? Is your life worthy of marching with the saints that have gone on before you?

Now, each of these men would have answered no to those questions, because that was their humble nature, but it is something to think about as we go on with our daily lives. Life goes on, we go to work, pay the bills, watch TV, spend time with family, and go to all of the activities that fill our schedules. But if today was it, would other people be able to look at your life and be a better person just because they knew you?

I feel like if we are living our lives in imitation of Christ then this can't help but be true. I don't think our brains are ever really ready to go, there is always something else we want to see or do, but in our hearts we can know that if the time is now that we have nothing to be ashamed of.

I want to spend more time doing things that matter and less time planning things that don't. God has a purpose for each of us and that is to live our lives in relationship with him and in relationship with people. These relationships should constantly build each other up, my relationships with people should bring them and myself closer to God, and my relationship with God should bring me closer to people.  I don't want to take anymore of these relationships for granted, because on Earth each of my relationships with people will eventually end, and I want to spend as much time with each of them as possible, because ultimately they will bring me closer to God, and then just maybe we can all join again When the Saints go marching in!

Where the Heart Leads

Last night I stayed up late to finish this book.

Click the picture to go to Amazon for the book.

At the beginning of the summer I read, Waiting for Summer's Return  and blogged about it. Where the Heart Leads is the sequel. I absolutely love stories where you can easily fall in love with the characters and want to see what they do with their lives. I was very happy there was a sequel because in the first book you fall in love with the Ollenburgers and you just want to know what happens next. 

In this story you find little Thomas all grown up and graduated from college in Boston. He returns to Kansas out of duty to his father and he spends some time in Hillsboro, KS because the family had moved there. 

This story is really all about Thomas and the decisions he has to make about his life and what God is calling him to do with it. Part of the time he is torn between two girls that he likes, one in Kansas and one in Boston. He is torn between the life style of money and power in Boston and the simple Godly life of his Mennonite background. 

Thomas gets a job back in Boston working at the newspaper that is owned by his best friend's father. His best friend's sister catches his attention and he learns the difference between loving someone fully and just being physically attracted to them.

This book was yet again another win from Kim Vogel Sawyer. I'm so glad she is friends with my mom, so that I get to know about her and her awesome books. 

I don't want to say anything else because I might ruin the book for you.

If you are looking for Christian Fiction to read then I recommend this mini series, and probably anything else from this author! :)

The Real Jesus

I absolutely love songs that catch you with a phrase or two, especially when they are humorous. I think my sarcastic self really likes when Christian Artists are willing to say the truth and not sugar coat things. So lines like Jesus isn't white, makes me stop and replay the song and look up the lyrics.

This is the song that stopped me this afternoon.

The Real Jesus by Downhere

Now this song is actually talking about the truth of who Jesus is vs who He is often made out to be.


So as I was thinking about the lyrics from that song, this one came to mind:

My Jesus by Todd Agnew

And so did this one:

God is Not a Man by Gungor

Ok, I will just do these three this time....I love music, and I love when lyrics are awesome!!!! :)

Rainbow Promise

I have been doing a lot, A LOT, of driving lately. In the past week I probably put close to 1,000 miles on my car. All of this driving has given me a lot of time to think, not like living alone doesn't do that, but there is just something different about being in a car that lets the thoughts just flow. A lot of these trips have happened to be during rain storms and some of these rides have been down right scary. These trips have also turned into some awesome jam sessions, because I am so tired that I have to have a way to stay awake. The radio gets annoying because they play the same songs over and over and if you go far enough eventually the radio gives out. So I have been using my phone, most of my music is Christian music, so these drives have been really awesome praise and worship sessions.

This morning I woke up to a message that a family member had passed away early in the morning, I always think of him as a great uncle, but the truth he is my grandfather's cousin. He and his wife host our family Easter every year, and then I see him at our family reunion every year. His land is also the family hunting ground. So I was really sad when I heard that he passed away, as I have gotten older I feel like I have gotten closer to him and really enjoy the time I have spent with him. I know that his immediate family will be sad for quite awhile because he was an incredible man.

After I got this news I found myself thinking, of course something bad happened, I almost had a good week. This thought and these feelings haunted me throughout the day and as I drove the hour home from Emporia tonight I found myself feeling incredibly selfish. This summer hasn't been an easy one and I have been working through a lot of emotions, some of which I am not proud of like these selfish ones that attacked me today.

As I was driving home tonight my music started to do what it always does for me, opens up my heart and soul and allows God to connect with me in a way that doesn't happen without music. My whole body relaxed as "Worn" by Tenth Avenue North came on. This song has been like a theme song for me this summer and I let my heart scream out with the words from the song. The next song was "10,000 Reasons" by Matt Redman and this was where I started to realize that I was missing the mark with where my heart is right now. The music continued and my heart started to open up in a way it hasn't this summer. At some point it started raining. Which seemed to be perfect. I started thinking about the crazy rains I had driven in the past few days and weeks and how they seemed to mimic the events of the summer.

The one that stands out would be the severe thunderstorm I drove in last week. This was the kind of storm where you couldn't see more than a couple feet in front of you, and it is either pull over and hope no one hits you or slow down and keep chugging along hoping the storm ends soon. This was the beginning of my summer when my college theatre professor passed away. It seemed like the pain that came with this death would never go away and just might do me in. But much like the rain storm there was light at the end, or after I drove long enough.

Some rains you can feel them long before they show themselves. The humidity in the air is more painful than the actual rain itself. These are those times that you can feel something coming and you know it isn't going to be good, but just having the time to process something coming somehow makes the storm a little more bearable. This would be like when little Sam passed away a couple weeks ago. I didn't know him, but knowing that he was battling cancer and only 9 years old was like feeling the humidity before the rain. Now we were all praying that he would win this battle, but in the end the rains fell and Sam went home to be with his heavenly father.

Some rains come out of no where and will wreck your picnic, or evening plans, or the way you wear you hair. Sometimes these rains are fun and you get to relax in the cooling effects. Other times they are inconvenient and just mess everything up, like getting mud on a dress or something. I feel like these are the normal things throughout a day that are sometimes good or sometimes bad. These are the "normal" stresses in life.

Rain has the ability to destroy things, flood, corrode, and send cars off the road. But rain also makes things grow, brings life to places that look like death, rain fills the land with water that we need to survive. Some of the most beautiful skies come before and after rainstorms. We would never get rainbows without the rain.

As these metaphors flowed through my soul tonight I finally felt some peace. God promised Noah that he would never flood the earth again and the sign of that promise was the rainbow. Throughout life we will have to walk through multiple storms, some that are destructive and others not so much, but a storm nonetheless.  These storms will all test each of us down to the core. The way we react, handle ourselves, and the way they affect our relationship with God all say something about who we are as people and as children of God.

So I am doing my best to push the selfish thoughts and feelings out of my heart and instead look forward to gorgeous promise that comes at the end of the storm, and trying to enjoy the scenery (blessings) that come along the way!

This song is from my favorite band, and it even quotes my favorite scripture. It kind of works with my storm metaphor! So enjoy!

Polymorphic Light Eruption

Polymorphic Light Eruption - three crazy words that have completely changed my life. What is this you may be wondering? An allergy to UV rays....which means an allergy to the sun.

My body has this weird ability to become allergic to things. Growing up it has always been antibiotics one time they work and the next time I'm allergic to it. Then after 9 and half summers of being a lifeguard and spending a lot of time outside I started breaking out with a new rash. After a few doctor visits and some research it became clear that Polymorphic Light Eruption was my newest medical issue.

It has been interesting to learn how to live with this, there is no pill to take or easy way out of this. I break out through sunscreen so the only way to prevent this from happening is either to not go outside or to be completely covered up when I do go outside. My dermatologist gave me a steroid cream to use when I do have break outs, but I'm not sure I trust it if I were to have a large breakout, so covering up it is.  We found these awesome clothes that are really light and they block UV Rays. They are much nicer than having to wear normal long sleeves or jackets because they are so much lighter. This also means that I wear jeans all the time. So it gets incredibly hot. Every time I do go outside people are like, aren't you hot? Are you cold? The answer is, YES I'M HOT....no I'm not COLD....its summer!!!!!! Of course I would rather be swimming and chilling by the pool in shorts and a tank top, but I would rather be hot than dealing with the ridiculous itchy rash that is the alternative.

This is what a normal break out looks like for me.

Coolibar is the brand of clothing that is amazing! 

http://www.coolibar.com/home.jsp?s_kwcid=adwordskt&gclid=CPDv4-WQwrgCFVNo7AodExYAlQ#

My current list of allergies:

Pretty much all antibiotics

The Sun (added Summer 2012)

Bananas

Fresh Pineapple

Fresh Peaches (added Summer 2013)

Blackberries (added December 23, 2013)

All Melons

What's Your Purpose?

Every time I hear this song on my computer it reminds me just what my purpose in life really is. Ministry is much more than my job. This is my life, my calling, my purpose for being on this earth. I have spent the day working on a new ministry for the church and it is one that is near and dear to my heart and a big part of that is helping young people find their purpose. Your purpose in life is so easy to lose sight of even when you have heard it and known it for almost half of your life. So I found it perfect when this song started playing on my iTunes today to remind me of my own purpose.

This is my prayer for my life. If I lose this part of me then I am no longer who God created me to be.

Somebody Else's Story by John Waller

So what ever your purpose is whether you know it now or are still searching for it. I pray that you get the chance to be a part of someone else's story the chance to make a difference in this world and stand for something greater than yourself!