BookMooch

Have you ever wondered what to do with your books once you have finished reading them? Unless you re-read books a lot there really isn't a point in holding on to your life time supply of reading. I know that I don't have room in my house for a large library. And then there is my office. I have six bookshelves in my office and they are basically packed. There are books I inherited from the previous owner of the office, books from my own collection, college and grad school, there are books I have been given, and some I have purchased and either used or decided it wasn't what I wanted. I have hundreds of books, just sitting here not being used. At home they got so much in the way that I packed them into boxes because I didn't know what else to do with them. I belong to a couple of different book clubs and I have started reading books on my phone so that I don't have to deal with the book itself when I'm done, but even then I can't just loan it out, because it is on my phone, paid for and stuck there.

My friend ByBreenah told me about this website called BookMooch. I'm addicted now. I just want to get rid of them all. You sign up, and put the books you no longer want on there, then other people can get on and look for the books they want. Then they mooch them from you. You mail them to them and you get points on the website. You then in turn can mooch what you are wanting to read from other people, and it only costs you the shipping costs to mail your books out.

Yesterday I mailed 10 books for $16.33, I'm used to spending that much just buying one book, so I say it is worth it, and thankfully Adam goes a long with it! I currently have 19 more books on my desk packaged and ready to go, I'm so excited they are going away. I just want them to be put to use. I don't need to be hoarding them, because I might some day actually get around to reading it....


So if you want me to get rid of your books for you just let me know. Also, I can look for a book for you if you want.

If you would like to check out my inventory here it is.

Praying

Do you ever struggle with specific prayer and the fact that what you are wanting might not be part of God's plan?

Waiting can be incredibly hard, I mean no one likes to wait. It is so easy to doubt everything, when you are stuck in a time of waiting. These thoughts come to my mind as I sit in my office trying not to be nervous because Adam has a test for a job today. He loves Law Enforcement but it would be so much better for us if he was not driving back and forth to Wichita every day, and honestly I don't like him working in Wichita, it feels like a different world, and the selfishness inside of me wants him closer to me and not in the craziness of Wichita. We have tried for so many positions in the past few months that it is honestly getting discouraging, and it is hard for me to see him so unhappy.

I remember back when I was job searching I got to the point that I just said God if this is it let me know, otherwise close the door before I get my hopes up. And Hesston just fell into place.

But it is hard to faithfully pray a prayer like that when my heart isn't the one that is going to be broken when the door is closed. It is easier to pray specifically for me. I have had many of my own specific prayers answered, but it is hard to do that for someone who is already discouraged and at times frustrated with God. I find myself just saying please, please, please, God just let this one work, and then having to pick up the broken pieces when it doesn't.

And today, a month away from our wedding day, the idea of picking up broken pieces, again, for the same reason just doesn't seem possible. Then again, I'm not really sure changing jobs is the answer to the prayer, but I do know it will be so much easier to have him closer, even if it is just for gas and car wear and tear.

When I pray, Lord let your will be done, I really mean it. I'm often scared of what that means, but I want the Lord's will to be living out in everything that I do. That just is hard when it feels like his will is hurting the man I love.

I guess I never really thought about how loving someone so completely affects absolutely everything else I do in my life. It is easy to see how it is going to affect things physically and emotionally, but I never thought spiritually loving someone else would be so hard.

So I guess my real prayer today is that Adam can feel God's presence with him while he is testing, that he has confidence in his own abilities, that he does the absolute best he can. I pray that the facilitators of the test are fair and just, and they make the best decision for their need. I pray that God protects Adam's heart from doubt and fear, and that he readies mine for whatever kind of support will be needed when the test is over. I pray that God's will be done, and that we can accept that it is for the best.

Ranger, My New Love!

Two weeks ago Adam and I brought home our first child. Ranger is part Border Collie part Golden Retriever. He is a gorgeous black puppy. Currently he is 9 weeks old and incredibly smart. Children swarm to him and everyone wants to pet him and love on him. He is very active and loves to chew on everything. I absolutely love him and even so there are many, many moments I find myself wishing/wondering why we made this choice. Whew, there I said it, sometimes I just wish he wasn't there getting in between Adam and I and making a mess everywhere, I just want our simple life back, and then he curls up in my lap and lays down.

Ranger has melted this heart of stone towards dogs. I'm a people person, not a dog person. But I guess I am a Ranger person, until he leaves a bomb on the floor then he belongs to his dad and I want just run away. I guess before you all start to think I am the world's worst dog owner I should probably go back in time and tell you about my past with dogs.

Growing up we always had a dog or two. I remember Bambi and Festus really well they were Cocker Spaniels. I was scared of them. My dad had to go outside and holler, "Kennel Up" before I would set foot in the backyard. Bambi and Festus had puppies a few times, and once there was a white one, that my parents decided to save for me. There is a video of me sitting a chair with this puppy named Darnit sitting on my lap. The puppy is so small and not moving and yet there I am crying and wanting it off of me. My parents ended up selling it in a garage sale because I just couldn't handle having a puppy. I grew to love Bambi in her old age long after Festus was gone. She became very calm and loving and we became friends.

Then we got Darbi and Darib our beagles. That took some more work. It was basically like starting over. Eventually I became ok around them and didn't need to have them put away, but it just wasn't the same as Bambi.

Throughout my childhood there were countless screams, and dashing back into the house, or climbing up something as quickly as possible because a dog came down the street. My teacher's quickly learned that dogs at show and tell was a guaranteed way to watch me run out of the room. I wouldn't stay at people's houses if they had a dog, and it was just known I was not a dog person.

When I moved to Hesston my friend Dana asked me to dinner when we first met to see if I was interested in dog sitting for her, I almost laughed at her. There was no way I was sleeping with a dog in my bed. And every time I pull up at her house I wait until she has corralled her ginormous children before I get out of my car.

Then Adam and I started dating. Of course I fell in love with a dog person. This man would bring home every dog he sees if he could. Every time we visit his parents farm we are quickly surrounded by Coors, Buddy, and Callie. Oh I was a mess the first few times we went. I don't even want to talk about the time we went to his older brother's and Flint came outside (Flint is a mastiff).

I have spent a life time battling this fear, a lifetime trying to not react automatically and embarrass myself. So when we went to pick Ranger up, it wasn't before an ample amount of praying, and talking about it. Thankfully he was really calm for the first two days and I had a chance to fall in love with him before he got active. There are times he gives me anxiety and I have to hand him to Adam and go calm down. I don't do well when he snaps and barks at me, but I think we have come to an understanding and he doesn't do it very much anymore.

 My entire life has changed the past two weeks. I'm in full mommy mode, and I never thought I would be this way with an animal of any kind let alone a dog. I hear him in the middle of the night, I worry about what he is chewing on (more for his safety than the item), I read about how to handle certain situations, and I can't go to the store without ending up in the dog aisle picking out a new toy or treat. I have a four legged son who I love to pieces. I'm a doggy mommy (words I never thought I would say)

Meet Ranger!!!

Redeeming Love

At church we just started a bookclub, and our first book selection was Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers. When the initial idea for this bookclub came to me I was incredibly excited and set a plan for the whole year, the closer it got to starting this adventure it just seemed like too much. One of my friends volunteered to spearhead it and I am excited to see where it goes. I won't be able to be at each one or even read each book, but I have always wanted to read this book ever since I first heard of it, I just hadn't had the time. I don't tend to be a fast reader but this one didn't take me very long because I couldn't put it down. I absolutely loved it.

This story is a fictional story based on the book of Hosea in the Bible. The prophet Hosea marries a prostitute because God tells him to. The prostitute continues to fight against his love and she runs away continuously. This resembled how the Israelites continually ran away from God's love and went back to the life of sin they knew before.

This version is set in the gold rush time period, and is the story of a prostitute named Angel and the man who saves her name Michael Hosea. The story starts when she is young and she learns her father never wanted her, and then after her mother dies she is sold into prostitution at the age of 8. It isn't until Michael comes along and takes her away that she starts to see a different way of life. She fights it, she can't understand how someone as good and holy as Michael could possibly love her. He has to go and bring her back from a life of prostitution once, and then he brings her back a second time, but she hadn't returned to her previous life. She leaves a third time and falls in love with God and finds her purpose in life. I won't ruin the ending, because I was know I was on edge the whole time hoping the author ended it the way I wanted (She did).

This book had me from the first chapter, and it has been awhile since that has been the case. I love books that are based on a Biblical story but fictionalized, and believable. I felt with these characters and I couldn't wait to see where they were going and how it was going to play out.

This is a story of love, redemption, grace, God, and faith. I highly recommend this book.

The picture of the book is a link to Amazon, where you can purchase this book.

For Vernon - Rest In Peace!

Growing up at St. Paul UMC I became incredibly attached to the congregation there. They became my family. I always said that the hardest part of my calling was leaving that congregation. When I moved to Hesston I wasn't sure I would ever feel that way about the people here. For awhile a piece of my heart was missing, and I wanted very much to go home. But as I relaxed and got to know people I fell in love here as well. Adam knows the names of people in the church because of how much I talk about them. And when someone at work is important enough for me to talk about at home that means they are pretty darn important to me.

Since I have been in Hesston I have had to go home for a couple funerals that I knew would come eventually but would never be ready for. Its always hard to say goodbye to someone you love and care about. Well for the first time since I have been here now I have one of those funerals here.

Vernon or Nick as many people called him, is what I would call a pillar member of the church. The guy who leads Sunday School, Wednesday morning Bible Study, and comes to everything church related no matter what, that is until the last couple months when it was just too much.

Vernon had the ability to make me feel special, important, and like I was doing a good job. It became one of my favorite starts to my Sunday morning helping him get his coffee and take it down to his Sunday School Class with him. We would chat and he always had a pen to give me. His pens were super cool too, they lit up on one end and were a writing pen on the other. I honestly don't know much about this man except for the presence he had about him every time you saw him.

As I am learning how to share my life fully with another person and care about them as much or more than myself, I have started watching the older married couples in the church and how they interact with each other, talk about each other, and function as a unit. I would have to say that Vernon's wife Lennea is one of the strongest people I know. She stood through her own ailments by his side every day. And now that he is gone she is still standing. At any time in your life when you are "allowed" to be a mess this would be it. But that isn't how she handles herself. I definitely see a role model here.

I am really going to miss seeing this amazing man around but I have no doubt he is no longer in pain and he is at peace. I just want to say thank you to Vernon for being that church family that I needed when I got here. It has been a pleasure and a blessing to spend the few moments each week I had with you. Thank you for your legacy, dedication, and passion for Christ and his people!

Not the best video quality but I found this gem on my computer today.

Let the Children Come - Sermon 8/17/14

Sermon Scripture Mark 10:13-16

As a youth pastor I often feel that I spend my time working in my office surrounded by spreadsheets, books, and to do lists that only get longer as the day goes on. As with any other job there are many days that are overwhelming beyond words and other days so quiet and calm, I am left with only my thoughts to fill the void. The youth when they finally realize this is my full time job, ask what do you do all day? I laugh because there are times I want to answer, what do I not do?

Sometimes I sit overwhelmed by the six meetings I have in one week that have nothing to do with the youth. I just got another phone call that someone can’t make it Wednesday night and everything seems to be falling apart. Then one of the kids walks in my office door and plops down on my couch to tell me how horrible their day at school was and how mom and dad are fighting again, or grandpa is dying of cancer and they don’t know how to handle that on top of studying for that Algebra test on Friday. Even though my chaotic world seemed more than I could handle, in that moment, in that instance my storm stops all I can see is this child. This beautiful child of God trying to figure out how to stay afloat in this crazy life. These are the moments that I hate being interrupted, these are the moments, when the phone can just ring, emails can stay unopened and the chaos it can just be. These are the moments I live for.

I can’t help but wonder if this is where Jesus was at in his ministry in our scripture this morning. Maybe he was a little overwhelmed with the weight of the world, and delivering a message no one understood. Maybe his disciples were really good at perceiving his body language and they knew when he was exhausted and needed a break and this is why they tried to stop the children from coming to see Jesus. And Jesus became upset that they would prevent these little ones from him. Children are of the utmost importance, because it is like children we are to receive the kingdom of Heaven.

I grew up in the church, there has never been a time in my life where church was not part of my story. I can still tell you where everyone sat in church on Sunday morning, and if you were at St. Paul UMC in Arkansas City, KS this morning those that are still alive were most likely still in their seat. As a child nothing made me feel more important than when the “old” people in the church talked to me, knew what I was interested in and what was important to me, and when someone from church would show up at one of my performances or something I was doing, man that was the best. We had Secret Prayer Partners when I was younger and mine was the coolest. I don’t think it ever really clicked that we filled out an information sheet because I thought it was amazing that Mary Jane knew that I collected Trolls. And every year after we were matched she got me one for Christmas. She didn’t have to, we were only matched for a short time, but she did. She noticed me, she made feel special, she took time to know who I was as a silly little girl.

In college, I went to Cowley for theatre, it wasn’t my major but it was my scholarship. I became more devoted to that place and that program as I have ever been devoted to something other than God. I lived and breathed those costumes, I spent countless hours organizing, creating, and just being in that theatre. As I look back over those two years, I have realized as my passion for Performing Arts has dwindled it was never the art that fuelled my soul. There was one man who went out of his way to make sure I knew that I was important and special. No matter what was going on he had time for me, my life, my drama, and whatever I needed from him. We became more than teacher and student, we became friends over our conversations about God and praying for each show. This man did not have to know me on a personal level. He did not have to talk to me about anything but theatre. He did not have to care. And when Scott passed away last summer, that theatre was filled with students and colleagues saying the same thing. He cared, even when he didn’t have to.  Even three years after graduating and not being his student anymore, he was one of the first people I called when I got this job, and he still cared. I was in his program for two years and he cared, he would answer my emails, my phone calls, whatever it was that I needed at anytime. Scott had a couple of sayings that we lived by in theatre and for many of us became mantras we often remembered and mottos now that he is gone.

“This moment right here, “snap” is gone forever.” And “This is a marathon not a sprint.” In life we often want to hurry through to fix and finish whatever we have going on. We rush and rush through life trying to reach our deadlines and solve our problems. This rushed mentality is what stresses us out, makes us feel overwhelmed, and drives us crazy. But these moments that we live through will never exist again, our time on this earth is precious. God put us here for a reason. He put us here to have relationship with him, and to bring others into this same relationship.

This congregation, this church has been blessed with some of the most amazing students I have ever seen. From our little ones the coo and giggle through the service all the way to the ones that have left to go to college. There are some amazing kids here. On average last year we had around 60 students ranging from 4 years old to 16 years old in our programs. These students are passionate, talented, and active in everything they set their minds to. Those of you that help on Wednesday nights have had the pleasure of meeting some of these kids and I hope you see them as the blessings that I do. But since most of you don’t see what they are up to I’m going to share a little with you.

Last summer one our high school girl’s lost her little brother to cancer. Now this brother didn’t live in town and most of the kids had never met him. But the high school youth rallied around her and showed their support by creating a memory frame for her, and a group of them went with me to the funeral in support of their friend in pain.

We have a high school student who in the midst of practice and school work not only sits on our Church council, but runs our youth council, is co-president of our Conference Council on Youth Ministry, devoted 3 weeks of his summer as a volunteer down at camp, and runs our sound system most Sunday mornings and that is only the surface of his dedication.

We have middle school students so passionate about missions that they go each week and make a difference somewhere. From filling food sacks for students to shopping for Christmas presents for kids they don’t know.

Each week I amazed at what the elementary students remember from the week before during BibleZone. It always feels like they aren’t paying attention, but they can tell you what they learned, and they might know more memory verses currently than I do, and I mean, they think Pastor Keith is a rock star!

Our high school youth council meets once a month and plans events and activities for the youth group to do. Last year a group of five high school boys decided our theme for the year should be compassion and we should do more mission stuff. And last year they raised money for the Wounded Warrior Project and a little girl with cancer named Diamond. That money was not from a fundraiser or any sort of project, but merely a weekly offering taken from their own pockets.

It is because of their enthusiasm and passion that we start new things, go places, and expand our horizons. These kids are so amazing I am starting to feel selfish because you don’t know them like I do. They text me when a friend is suicidal and they don’t know how to help, not you. They invade my office with stories from their day at school not yours. They blow my mind with their understanding of scripture, not yours. But you see they should be connecting with you. Because you are the church, you are the body of Christ. As Christians we are called to be like Christ, and Christ opened his arms to the children in the midst of his busy schedule and gave them the attention they were seeking. You see it takes a village to raise a child, not a youth pastor. Of those 60 children I bet I have a solid one on one connection with about 10 of them. They don’t all connect with me, nor do I have the time or mental capacity to fully connect with all of them, but you see I can’t, I’m not what all of them need. I truly believe that there is an adult in this church for every single one of our students. I look around this sanctuary every Sunday and dream what it would be like if each of you was personally connected to one of our young people. I dream about what it would be like to have so many volunteers that I never had to say no to an event or idea due to lack of adults. I dream about how loved and special each of our young people would feel if they knew a handful of our church members by name and those same church members were the ones cheering them on at their football games. I dream of a church so invested in their children and youth, that conversations about decorations, hymns vs praise music, and what goes where were not at the top of our meeting lists, but in fact conversations about where the children are headed, where are we going to fit them all, and how can we help them more.

The children are NOT the future of the church. They are the church. They are a vital growing part of this church. And many of you never see them. Imagine what this church could do if we never had to beg for volunteers! Seriously close your eyes, and think about it. If each of you volunteered once a semester we would never have to beg. Jessica, Kris & Derek, Melody, and I should be overwhelmed with the number of volunteers we have rather than being overwhelmed with how much work we have. So my challenge to you today as we prepare for all of our activities to begin in September, I challenge you to honestly pray about how God can use you in our children and youth programs this school year. You can’t be that mentor, that one on one connection, that person that makes that one kid feel like a million bucks, if they have no idea who you are.

These students are only here for awhile, they’re days of adolescence are numbered. They will leave us, they will become adults, they will take your places on committees and planning teams. This moment that we have with them will gone in flash, and we will never get it back. What we do here is just the beginning; new life is starting at every ending. We are a part of a story unfolding. This is the weight of the world we are holding. This could be our day. Are you ready to give yourself away?

Homemade With Love

I absolutely love Pinterest. I definitely spend too much of my time looking at things that I love, want to do or make. It never fails Pinterest has something for whatever I'm looking for. Right now I am planning my wedding and it has been very helpful to be able to see what my mind is thinking about in picture form. I am the type of person that if I can see it, then I know it is possible and I can more than likely accomplish it.

A few months ago I was doing some prep work for an event and I needed a craft that a group of mixed ages could do that would take about 30 minutes to accomplish and would be a great door hanger for the people who live at the retirement home here in town. It didn't matter how I typed it in the search menu Pinterest was not giving me what I was looking for. I mean if I was decorating my classroom door there were tons but not what I was wanting. I couldn't find it on Oriental Trading or even Google. Talk about a searching fail. So I sat in my office looking around trying to think of something that would be just right. Under my desk I have a big box of old card fronts. The church members give them to me to use for different things. We make a lot of cards in some of my groups so they are perfect. Well I started cutting crosses out of the cards and was enthralled by how unique each one was. Then I saw some foam crosses on the other side of the room and put together a craft.

I was pretty impressed with what I came up with, if I do say so myself. Then today I was going through the finished products after a group of 2nd-8th graders put them together on Wednesday and I have to say I am in love with this project. They're adorable. There really wasn't a way to mess them up, and each one is as unique as the maker and the person who will receive it.

I do believe I see some future card front crafts in our future here at the church! :)