The Tides of Change

For someone who isn't a huge fan of change I seem to be doing a whole lot of it at once.

My daily Timehop reminds me that a year ago I was knee deep in wedding planning, and a year before that still trying to figure out how to do my job, and a year before that I was in the process of moving to Hesston.

Sunday marked 6 months until our little one is due and last week marked 7 months of marriage. In two weeks Ranger will be a year old. And on Monday, Adam and I welcomed a 17 year old girl into our home to live until at least her graduation in May.

Typing it all out makes my exhaustion this morning a whole lot more understandable. We're newlyweds in a new to us house, Adam has a new job, and we are months away from a new baby, and now there is a new soul living under our roof.

Some of you may be thinking, Holy Cow this chick is crazy. Well sometimes I feel that way. But I feel like I want to share this story because it might seem crazy but there has definitely been a lot of prayer and thought put into it.

In August of 2006, I was 17 years old and starting my senior year of high school. There was already a pretty solid call onto my life to do some form of ministry. I didn't know back then that you could do youth ministry full time so I had lots of different plans in my mind, but I knew I wanted to help children and share my love for God. But I didn't want to wait until I was older, I knew there was something I could do right then.

So I signed up with Big Brothers and Big Sisters of Cowley County. I looked through some papers and picked one that I hoped would be a good match. I signed the form and agreed to seeing her one hour a week for 6 months. Much to my surprise this girl who looked like me, stole my heart, the heart of my entire family, and in two months from yesterday we will celebrate our 9 year anniversary.

6 months, that's all I agreed to, and here I am 6 months from bringing my own child into the world and that beautiful blonde girl that I took out for so many ice cream dates is living in my home.

Being her big sister was the hardest thing I had to do as a 17 year old. But her life is completely the opposite and for the last month and a half her life was better being on the run than in the group home she had been placed in. So after a long conversation with my husband, many tears and phone calls, and oh so many prayers. We signed the paperwork, we went  through the steps and brought her home. Where now I can worry about her in my own house. She will have the opportunity to have a real senior year of high school. She will play sports, play in the band, go to church, do her homework, have a part time job, and hopefully enter adulthood with half a chance to stand on her own two feet and make something of herself.

She has always wanted to live with me and for first time we actually were her best option for a good life. So today as I sit in my office wondering why I can't focus on planning the two camps, and one speaking engagement that will consume the next three weeks of my life, it became apparent to me that I had to write this.

I know so many people are going to question this decision that we have made and will ask if we have thought this through. I mean we have a baby on the way. I can guarantee you that thinking things through is never something I under do. It often drives my husband crazy just how much I think something through. This decision really came down to the fact that we were capable of giving this child of God the best possible opportunity she had to be successful in this life. And being who I am, I cannot walk away from something that is so apparently God knocking on my heart. Jesus told his disciples to feed his sheep. That's what we're doing.

So if you are on the negative side of this decision I don't want to hear it. God is guiding this and we have put this in His hands. Every young person deserves a chance to be loved, nurtured, guided, and to be young. I had all of that and it isn't like this girl walked in off the streets into our lives. She has been in my life longer than my husband. She is my longest relationship. We appreciate all of your prayers and your support as we enter parenthood six months early with a teenager! Thank you!

Hearing the Heartbeat

Yesterday I had my first OB appointment. I guess I should have done some asking or reading about it because from what I had been told this was just an appointment where they did lab work and an exam but nothing exciting. So when Adam asked if he needed to be there I told him no. I didn't figure blood work and peeing in a cup were worth him taking time off work.

Then the doctor brought in the Doppler machine and said lets see if we can find the heartbeat. Instantly I felt like the worst wife ever. I had no idea they did this at these appointments, and Adam wasn't there. I almost didn't have her do it just because he wasn't there but with all the craziness we have had a chance to be reassured that we still have a healthy baby growing seemed like something I couldn't pass up. I should have asked for my phone so I could record it but I wasn't thinking all of that through at the moment.

It took her awhile but she found it. That beautiful fast paced heartbeat. That had to be one of the best sounds I have ever heard, especially with the stress of things and how icky I have been feeling. It was like oh yeah I'm not just sick, I'M PREGNANT! The sonograms are amazing but this early they have to tell you exactly which blob is the baby and point it out, but that sound was so distinctly different that it was obviously the baby.

When Adam got home he was quite pouty for awhile. I found a video on YouTube that sounded just like it and he wouldn't listen to it because it wasn't our baby. :(

So exciting news! I heard the heartbeat! Sad news, Adam didn't!


The best news, we have a healthy heartbeat which means a healthy baby! Hopefully Adam will be able to go next time....or maybe I can record it for him.

Preggie Pop Drops

People keep asking me how I'm feeling and the truth is that most of the time these days the answer is nauseous. I haven't actually gotten sick yet but I sure have been close a few times. I definitely am waivered these days by smells, tastes, being hungry, being awake, lol just about anything.

I found these amazing pieces of hard candy that have been a miracle for me.

Crackers, pickles, and all the other things that women have told me that helped them are nothing in comparison with these babies!

The picture is now a link to buy them on Amazon if you or someone you know needs some.

They're all natural, and drug free. Which is why I decided to give them a try. They are a little sour which is part of what helps I think, and they have essential oils in them.

They're definitely currently my favorite invention right now! :)

Heartbeat

Well that was one long weekend. I don't remember praying for patience but we sure got a big dose of it this holiday weekend.

We got the call this morning that my HCG levels had gone up but not doubled like they were supposed to so we still weren't sure what that meant. We just had our second sonogram and we saw the heartbeat and the baby move, and it's definitely bigger than last time.

The doctor should call tomorrow and tell us what she sees but there was a whole lot of relief when that baby moved and the heartbeat was was beautiful!

Thank you to everyone who has been praying, your words were felt and kept us going through the wait.

Thank you!

Might Be a Miscarriage

If you can't tell from the title this is where I'm sitting today. In the world of "might be a Miscarriage" but we don't know for sure. It's early and blood sometimes can just be blood. But when the doctor isn't very positive it's hard to be. And maybe if I felt good it would be different but yesterday was an easy day. I thought I was just having the worst sickness day yet but when we got home last night the sight of blood kind of knocked me over but this first time there has been blood and last time everything was fine. But we have to wait for blood test results and even a sonogram won't tell everything so we're waiting to do that too.

When we found out we we're pregnant a few weeks ago we decided we weren't going to tell the world until after the first trimester, but waiting is hard and after we saw that sonogram with the heartbeat we couldn't really hold it in anymore.

But as much fun as it is rejoicing with everyone, it is so much more important to have all those prayer warriors on our side when something doesn't go right. And right now something isn't right. And you can't pray for us if you don't know something is going on. So this long weekend we are living in a world of the unknown. A scary emotional world. But God is here, I can feel him.

So please if you're reading this pray for us and that however this turns out we won't lose sight of God and his presence. And if this is a Miscarriage that we will have the strength in this marriage to pick up the pieces and keep moving forward. And if there still is a baby that we will make it through this healthy and safe.

Thank you, oh and keep the comments and thoughts to the minimal please I'm already emotional, sorries and advice aren't really what I'm after. Just prayers. Thanks.

Food and Pregnancy

So I know cravings are generally a thing during pregnancy and so are foods that you generally love making you nauseous. So I thought I would keep a list of both for this pregnancy and see how it goes.


Foods I love but now they make me nauseous:
1. Dr. Pepper
2. Special K Breakfast Sandwiches
3. Milk
4. Leftover Pork from Mother's Day
5. Italian Herb & Cheese Bread from Subway
6. Meat (all meat, any meat, the sight of meat, the smell of meat, the thought of meat) :(



Cravings:
1. Salad, French Fries, and Pretzel sticks from Applebees (all of this as one meal)

A Year of Change!

Do you ever sit back and marvel at how much your life has changed in a year? I mean most of us do this sort of thing at the beginning of a new year, but do you ever do it randomly in the middle of the year?

Well this past year has been a year of complete change. Most of the time we get excited when we have ONE big life change in a year but several????? Whew sometimes that just seems crazy.

Well the reason this comes to mind today is that tomorrow will be one year since Adam proposed. So a year ago today, I was still praying for a ring!

In the past year!

May 14th - Adam proposed as we closed out the school year with our youth! It was incredibly magical and I couldn't have asked for it to be done any other way. You can read the whole story here.

We took engagement pictures in June (I think)

Photo Credit to On the Wall Photography

The summer was filled with Camp and Wedding Planning.

August 31st - I fell in love with a dog. Me, a dog, for real! This was the date we adopted Ranger. And today he is 10 months old! He stole my heart in a really big way.

The day we brought him home!

Ranger, about 2 weeks ago! He's so big!

November 22, We said I Do! It was beautiful

Then we started life together. By started I mean continued and even more so than before. Our first few months of marriage were intense and not always in a good way. But then things started to change again!

April 1st, we moved into a new house (our dream house!)

Ok we love all of this house. But check out the fridge & freezer. If we ever have to move I think I will miss these the most!

April 15th, Adam got a new job!

Praise the LORD!!! We have seen the light. :) Things are all smiles now!

Which is good since 

April 27th, 

We found out right at 5 weeks.

We told our parents on Mother's Day. It was so much fun surprising them.

Adam's mom's reaction!

My mom's reaction!

Then we had our first sonogram appointment yesterday and got to see the heartbeat. 

Our little Blueberry sized 7 week baby! :)

Then we decided Ranger could make the announcement!

Mommy and Daddy are getting me a human!

So ready or not the changes just keep coming. And of course they always will. It is exciting and scary. But I don't think I have ever felt this blessed. All of this and each day I am employed to do ministry. 

Thank you to everyone who has made this past year possible, these changes exciting and meaningful, and for just being here on this ride called life with our little expanding family! :)

One Happy Momma to be!