#HesstonStrong

This morning you can feel it in the air, the entire atmosphere has changed. The easy going, lighthearted feel of this community is gone. Our safe little town was attacked yesterday, it is as if the entire town is in shock. As the day has moved on the shock is turning into the entire gamut of emotions. When tragedy like this strikes it is so easy to let fear control the way we react. We lock our doors and bunker down, blame the weapons, and cry out to God, "Where were you?"

The truth is God was there, He is always there. He was there with the first responders giving them the strength to go into the unknown, the scary, the unimaginable and do their jobs. He was with all those people as the ran out to safety, He was with the doctors and nurses who received the wounded, and He was definitely with the officer who stopped the madness.

It is easy after an incident like this to start talking about guns and how bad they are, when the truth is that gun violence may have started the incident but it was gun violence that ended it. It isn't a lack of gun control that causes or even makes these incidents possible. Even if there were absolutely no guns in this world there would still be murderous violence. Cain killed Abel with a rock. This isn't a gun issue its a heart issue, its a sin issue.

Today as we try to figure out how to pick up the pieces from yesterday's tragedy we cross denominational lines and we come together as a town committed to community. We spend hours planning a citywide memorial service and figuring out how to help those struggling to cope with what happened. We hit our knees in prayer and supplication for those we love and those directly affected by the hurt from yesterday. We stand behind our Law Enforcement and Emergency Personnel who are working endlessly to protect and serve us. We  continue on with our lives helping each other find peace and comfort in the midst of this storm. Today we are Hesston Strong.

This is more than just a town, this is a community with a heart beat that is so strong people can't stop talking about it. We can't let fear get a foothold in this beautiful town. Yes, "It happened here" but it doesn't have to define us, we may have made the map yesterday but we can stay on that map because of how we respond to this tragedy, not by how we let the tragedy control us. God is still God, and He is still holding us together, we just have to have faith today and every day. Faith is the only way fear will go away, faith is the only way we will sleep at night. I believe that Hesston will come out of this stronger and that God will be more visible than He already was. I've never lived in a town where it was easier to love God than this one, and I think that will only become more true as we move forward from here.

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand." - Ephesians 6:10-13

It is time to suit up, get on our knees, and lift up our arms in prayer to the one who is in control. Jesus said, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." - John 16:33.

I pray that the peace that passes all understanding will sweep over this community, we will never understand why this happened, but we can come back to peace knowing that God is still in control. Thank you Lord for your peace! Amen!

The visuals are strong today, the support is quite loud!

For Your Baptism

Dearest Adah Grace,
  I'm writing you this letter a few days early. I'm not sure I will mentally be prepared to do so on Sunday. You're getting baptized this week. This is a big deal. We are officially laying down the path for the rest of your life. You have so many people planning on being here for you for this. You're such a special girl, some of these people have only been to visit us since you have joined the world. You're so worth the drive to all the people who love you.
  I can't believe how fast you are growing. At times it is hard to imagine you as anything but the sweet little infant you are now, but our baby days are numbered. You're already almost two months old and I want to grab time and slow it down. Before I know it you will be running around this church with all the other kids and you will be talking, and playing, and learning all of the lessons life has to teach you. If only I could keep you innocent and safe from the pains of this world. But I can't, you will have to walk through all of the fires of this life just like everyone else. I know my heart will break when yours does and my tears will fall each time you do.
 The only thing I know how to do, my little one, is introduce you to the Creator of the Universe. He is the only one who can truly protect you and hold you through everything. It is my job as your mother to guide you and teach you about God's love. I will only be able to hold your hand for awhile but God will hold your hand for eternity if you learn to love Him. This is why your baptism is so important to me, Daddy and I will be standing up in front of the church committing to leading you to a life filled with God's Grace.
 I know that ultimately the choice is yours, you will have to make a decision to join Christ's family on your own, but until you are old enough to do so, I promise to raise you in this family. I promise to surround you with people who will always love you and guide you in a life of faith. I promise to pray for you, and teach you how to pray. I promise to read you the Bible and explain what it means to you. I promise to be present in your faith journey and constantly deepen my faith in order for you to have a role model to look up to. I promise to bring you to church and make church life a priority, even if it isn't my career. I promise to love you, no matter what. I will love you through the good days and the bad. I will love you as unconditionally as humanly possible.
 Adah Grace you are beautiful, you are loved, you are important, you have a purpose. God will always love you and so will your daddy and I. I pray you never forget just how special you are and that you never stop hearing in your heart just how loved you are.
Love,
Mommy

Holding Daddy's finger during her first church service.

Sleeping on Mommy's lap during her 2nd church service.

Norwex For the Win!

Today I'm super thankful for Norwex. I hate cleaning, I really do. If we had the money I would pay someone else to do it all for me. The only thing I like to do is laundry. I was really hoping that when the mom switch flipped on it would be more enjoyable, no I just actually do it now.

So today I'm thankful for Norwex, this beautiful chemical free product that makes cleaning possible in my life because it makes it easy. I don't have to scrub, dog hair actually comes off the floor, and poop comes out of clothes.

That's right, poop comes out of clothes. Yesterday we had a rough morning. Adah ended up in her third outfit around lunch time because of spit up and two explosive diapers. The 2nd diaper was a complete disaster, she had that sleeper on for about twenty minutes, she was enjoying tummy time and then it was all up her tummy, it was gross. After I changed her I took that cute sleeper she had barely worn once, with its little Froggy feet and sprayed it a ton with spray and wash and let it sit so it was in there good. When I pulled it out of the washer this morning, it was still stained, it was as I hadn't done anything.

Then I remembered I had Norwex laundry supplies. I put the stain remover on and then filed the sink with warm water and half a scoop of Norwex laundry detergent. It soaked for twenty minutes and looks as good as new. See if I forget about my Norwex again.

How do mommies do it without Norwex? I don't even want to know. I think I would just live in a dump if I didn't have Norwex.

I love just adding water!

Gifts for New Parents

I've never really known what to take to a baby shower or to a new family when I go to meet the baby. I knew diapers were what my mother always suggested, but those are boring. Well, I have successfully kept my child alive for a whole month and I have a list of things that are amazing. So if you're like I used to be and don't know what to give new parents check this list out before you're next adventure to a baby shower!

1. Diapers, seriously they may be the most boring gift in the world to open, but for new parents they're like cash. And they disappear about as fast too. So far we love Pampers, Luvs, & Huggies. Parent's Choice Diapers were not our friend. Along with diapers don't forget the wipes, they go crazy fast too.

2. Food! Food, glorious food! I'm not kidding anyone who provided us with food is my favorite. Especially if they cooked it for us, or checked to make sure my picky husband would eat it. Not having to cook or plan what to cook or shop for any amount of meals is the best, especially after a c-section.

3. Snacks! This may seem like it should be with food but it's totally separate. I currently have the appetite and metabolism of a teenage boy. So snack foods are my best friend right now. I have them stashed all over the house so they're in easy reach whenever I need them.

4. Caffeine! I find myself sitting here nursing my beautiful bundle of joy, wishing Sonic delivered. Or even that my coffee pot delivered from the kitchen to the living room. I wish Ranger could pour coffee and bring it to me. (Don't judge me for drinking caffeine and nursing my baby, it doesn't phase her).

5. A cleaning lady! Or a dishes fairy would be nice too. Enough said, I hate doing dishes.

6. Burp Rags! We probably have fifteen, and sometimes they're all dirty, and I do laundry all the time. And my favorite ones are actually old school cloth diapers, they're the most flexible and easy to move around when she decides to project milk all over, and they're large enough to cover your whole chest so when she moves at the last second you aren't left wearing her lunch. I also love the cute ones, we use them all.

7. Diaper Rash Cream! We didn't think about needing it until we needed it, thankfully we had one of every kind that had been gifted to us. We use it a lot and mix up the different kinds.

8. Gripe Water! And anything else you loved when your baby had gas. Another thing you don't know you need until the middle of the night when you need it and when you don't live in the same town as Wal-Mart, it makes for a very long night.

9. Nursing Pads! I didn't know I needed these, but they are an absolute necessity, and they aren't very cheap.

10. Candy! I've seriously been craving candy, and my Christmas supply has long been depleted.

11. Netflix! If they don't have it, get it for them and pay for six months or so. Show marathon's are my thing right now, it's almost like adult conversation!

12. Anything you loved or needed as an new parent. If you loved it, or a parent you know loved it then the new family probably will too. Like the Fisher Price Rock 'n Play. No one told us about this beautiful invention, and after struggling for almost two weeks we bought one and she slept like a queen, then we posted about it on Facebook and every parent I know talked about how it was a lifesaver for their kid too. My exhausted mind wanted to scream where were you all last week? Seriously it was the best $50 we've spent, that we didn't know we needed to spend.

13. Clothes, hand me downs, sale items, or the cutest thing you've ever seen, it doesn't matter clothes get expensive. And when we didn't know for sure we were expecting a girl we didn't get a ton of clothes at the baby showers, so the clothes we have gotten since are nice. All sizes, but definitely weather appropriate for age. Long sleeve onesies are almost impossible to find, and we forgot to buy pants until after she was born, fuzzy sleepers are the best thing ever, I don't even care that she will be wearing Christmas until Easter!

14. Dog attention! Please come walk my one and half year old, sometimes he drives me absolutely crazy and I feel guilty that he gets ignored so much. This is the perfect gift from the person not so excited about seeing or holding the baby, come walk the dog, I will be as grateful as if you came over and watched her so I could nap, the dog out of my hair for a few minutes is gold.

15. Gift Cards! If all else fails, gift cards. Especially to Target and Wal-Mart. You can upload them onto the app for your phone, so when you remember that you have no socks for your child you can order them in the middle of the night when you're bored trying to get your sweet child to sleep. Food gift cards are great too, that way we can get out of the house without breaking the bank!

16. Oh and stamps! For all the thank you cards, bills or anything else. Stamps are a must!

I think that's the majority of the things! Thank you to everyone who has spoiled us this past month. I don't know how we would have survived without you all. Thank you, thank you, thank you! <3

The Puppy and the Baby

Everyone asks us how Ranger does with Adah. We weren't really sure what to expect out of him when we brought her home, but we figured he would be a good guard dog, and love his little sister. Well we were gone from the house for three and a half days, so I'm sure he thought we were never coming back, thankfully my parents and Nicole were here to help take care of him. If Nicole wasn't around for him, my dad said he was pretty pathetic and would not be anywhere that he couldn't see my dad.

He was in the kennel when we came home so that he wouldn't jump on anyone. We got inside and Adam put Adah in my arms and went to get Ranger. He was very excited to see us, but was almost instantly nervous about the new thing in my arms, he wanted to lick her to see what she was. He sniffed her some but really just wanted our attention since we had been gone so long.

The first week or so he struggled being jealous. Anyone who came to visit that normally played with him but wanted to hold her was an issue. He just didn't know how to handle it, and would bounce around from person to person but wanted nothing to do with Adah.

The first week we were home Nicole stayed with us to help out. The first full day, she sat down with Adah on the couch and Ranger walked over from the other side of the room and bit her foot. He had never bit anyone before, but he was not of fan of HIS Aunt Nicole holding the new noise machine. It was about that time that he started stealing food too. This was another new behavior. The first time I was eating something, and I sat the plate next to me on the couch and he walked up and just finished the plate, he normally only does this when we set it on the floor for him. Then he stole a peanut butter ball from his father. The next day Nicole sat down with a piece of cake and he walked up to her and started licking the frosting off of it as she was getting comfortable. Then I walked by with a bowl of ham and he tried to jump up and take it our of my hands as I was walking.

Thankfully this behavior did not become a new normal. He settled down once he realized she was here to stay. Now he does a pretty good job with her, he is very protective of her and always wants to be able to see her, but his time with her has to be on his terms. If you take her over to him he runs off but if she is laying in her bed or having tummy time, he is all up in her business trying to see what is going on. And if you are posing her for pictures and you don't include him he gets jealous and will jump around until you take one of him too.

He doesn't like it when she cries and he always comes to make sure I know she is crying. He gets up with me every time we are up in the middle of the night, he walks laps around the house with me when she won't sleep, and still snuggles up in bed with us like always. All in all he is still or goofy spoiled pup who is learning how to love and protect the new member of our family. They will be best of friends before too long.

Ranger Meeting Adah the first time.

Ranger not wanting to share his grandma.

Ranger learning how to share Aunt Nicole. It is hard to explain this relationship, you just have to see it to understand. Nicole is Ranger's favorite person on the planet.

Ranger trying to steal the attention from Bruce.

He posed for this picture because we were taking pics of her.

He needs to be a part of everything we do.

My New Alarm Clock

Oh what to write?? That is the question. It is a beautiful Saturday at least from the looking out the windows. I'm not even sure where to begin. Normally on Saturdays I like to stay in bed as long as possible catching up on sleep and snuggling up with my husband, but not today, today I was up early or closer to up all night. Sleep is something that comes in small doses these days. There is a new alarm clock in our house. I could take the time right now to write a review of 2015 as I normally do when a new year begins, I could write about being pregnant and all the things that my life consisted of the last year, the aches and pains, and heartburn filled nights, the fear and uncertainty that plagued my mind. But I think this year I would rather talk about the new alarm clock I got for Christmas this year! She is the best gift I have ever been blessed with, even though I'm still trying to figure out all the settings and how to get her not go off every couple of hours, she's definitely my favorite gift!

Christmas was a little different this year, because on Christmas Day we came home with our little bundle of joy, Adah Grace. Adam and I decided early on that we weren't buying gifts for each other this year, because our baby would be gift enough, and we were definitely right.

On Tuesday before Christmas we packed up early and left the house to be at the hospital at 5am for induction. Around 3 in the afternoon they broke my water, and I seriously watched my belly deflate. Around 3 in the morning the epidural went in and around 6 we made the decision to go back for a c-section. The furthest we ever dialated was a 5, in over twenty four hours we were only half way there. I was an exhausted emotional mess by the time we made the c-section decision. Needless to say labor and delivery were not anywhere near what I had in mind, but there was just too much fluid for her to be able to get down and get things moving along.

I cried the moment I heard her cry the first time, I laughed a little when they told us we had a big healthy girl, and I freaked out a little when Adam left with her and I was alone. I had a lot of bleeding so it took quite awhile for them to close me up, and during that time I started shaking, I didn't know it was a normal hormonal response to everything, so I thought I was having an allergic reaction to something. They should have someone in the wings ready to take the husband's place when he leaves with the baby, because being awake and alone in the surgery room is kind of scary, thankfully the anesthesiologist was very in tune to me and he talked me through it.

We were in the hospital until about noon on Christmas Day. This was for my recovery not hers, walking after a c-section is brutal. My dad made a full blown Christmas dinner for us and Adam's family came up to join us. It was a long exhausting day which ended with an emotional collapse on my part and we slept in the living room.

The further we get from those days the more of a blur they are. We had only family visit in the hospital but once we were home, friends and youth members started showing up.

So yeah, I got an alarm clock for Christmas, a beautiful unpredictable alarm clock. One that people can't wait to see, she grows like a weed, and often won't let me sleep at all. I take her everywhere with me and love to show her off. This little alarm clock that looks equally like me and Adam. This alarm clock has captured my heart and changed my life forever.

Adah Grace Utt, the best Christmas present ever!

Christmas Probation

The Christmas “Santa” put us on probation. That’s right Santa put us on probation. It began like every other Christmas in the Mann household. We did Christmas Eve at Grandma and Grandpa’s, we came home and anxiously went to bed fighting sleep but knowing it wasn’t until sleep won that Santa would make his yearly visit. I don’t recall what I asked Santa for that year or much else about this Christmas, but I do remember waking that morning, waiting on the stairs until my mother had enough pictures so that we could go down and see what joys there were to see. We walked into the living room all decked out in Christmas glory, and ran to the mantle to see what Santa left for us. We could see our gifts but there was a note that had to be read first. I was old enough to read, and read it out loud for my little brother.  We were in utter disbelief to find that we hadn’t behaved badly enough for coal but not quite good enough for our gifts. So there we were on Christmas probation, our gifts would be given to us when our parent’s felt we had been good enough. We were able to open our gifts from our parents but our stockings and gifts from Santa just sat there haunting us throughout the morning. We went throughout the rest of Christmas, visiting grandparents and enjoying the rest of our Christmas festivities all the while knowing that we were still on probation. It was embarrassing each time one of our cousins asked us what we got for Christmas because we had to tell them we were on probation and couldn’t have our presents yet. I remember by the time we made it home that evening I had been good enough to open one part of my gift, and I remember getting a Barbie, which had to be from Santa because my parents wouldn’t buy Barbie’s. My brother had to wait a little longer to get any of his gifts, and I don’t remember how long this probation lasted because eventually we got the rest of our presents, which neither of us remembers much about but we will never forget being put on probation by Santa.

                Looking back on this lesson that “Santa” chose to teach us that year, it always makes me laugh. But it actually was an incredible lesson of Grace. We weren’t good enough that year for our gifts, and even though we had to wait for them we ended up receiving them in full. None of us are good enough for gift that Jesus offers, and many of us wait a long time before we are willing to let ourselves partake in this glorious present but when we do, we get all of it, in full. We don’t have to be good enough for God; Jesus gave Himself because He knew we never would be. We are offered the most beautiful gift possible, don’t put yourself on probation, but humbly accept this gift and let it change your life.

         “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” – Romans 6:23

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