This week I feel like I'm drowning. It is just one of those weeks where every one that is normally here to support the ministry is busy so I'm scrounging around trying to find new volunteers. At the same time I'm planning a worship service for my Junior High kids to lead the service on Sunday. People keep coming in with more to do or more interruptions and I just feel like my head is spinning. I have been gone so much lately that my neighbor lady has texted me asking me if I'm ok. I replied yes, I'm good, just busy and tired. It has been one of those months that I fill out my time card and realize just why I'm so tired. It makes perfect sense why my head is spinning and I'm constantly yawning.
In this great time of change and chaos, it would be so easy to get weighed down by the stress and frustration of things, and at certain moments that is where I find myself, drowning in the mess. Then I look out my office door and see our new janitor working away as busy as a bee. She is so sweet and this church is the cleanest I have ever seen it. She is cleaning up after every one, spending hours vacuuming and cleaning toilets, and she never complains. She is always smiling and just happy to be working. It is so beautiful to see someone so joyful in their job, and that is a job that not too many people would be willing to do let alone be joyful while doing it.
This makes me realize just how spoiled and blessed I really am. I have an incredible job. I get paid to spend my time serving, teaching, entertaining, babysitting, and over all experiencing life with some of the most amazing young people I have ever met. Yes, they destroy my organization every single week, they push my buttons, and they demand things I know are not in my job description but I don't want to be anywhere else (well maybe asleep in my bed, but that is beside the point). So, maybe I have to put in a few extra hours this month to make sure things run smoothly for them as we close out the school year. Spring sports are taking up a huge chunk of my schedule including my days off, but when I watch these kids do the things they love I get to know them more, and they get to know that people in this community really do care about them. And when I'm stressing that I'm not going to have enough volunteers to make the children's program run, I am reminded that there are so many people in this church that truly care about these kids and are willing to step up when asked.
There are so many things that if I were to let them, would wear me down to the point that I couldn't do my job, but I am choosing to look at it a different way. This is more than a job this is my calling. This is where God has placed me and my heart. These difficulties and pains are just part of life. Satan is very good at what he does and I am refusing to let him take hold of my life. So yes, I am tired, exhausted actually. Yes, I am overwhelmed. Yes, things are crazy and far from perfect. But I really do love it here, and none of this is worth me stressing over. So today I am choosing to change my attitude and my outlook on life. Today I am choosing to see the blessings not the stresses, the joys not the pains.
Lord, thank you for this job and community you have blessed me with. Please help me to remember that you are in control of my life and my heart. You have my best interests in mind, and you are not going to put me somewhere where I will drown. As long as I put my trust in you, you will provide for me. Help me to see your beauties and blessings all throughout my days. Please take these things that are weighing heavy on my heart and mold them, the way that only you can do, into something new and glorious. Thank you for the incredible people that are here. These young people really do want to know about you and look forward to being here. Please take care of all of these hearts and souls, that enter these doors and bless them in their lives, so that they may see you in all that they do. I love you Lord, Abba, Father! Amen.
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