Awake My Soul

I am currently listening to this song on repeat. This happens sometimes. I came into work singing it and it happened to be at the top of my iTunes list this morning so of course I had to play, a few times....by few I mean it has been at least 5 times and still going. I have a feeling this song originally started going through my mind because my phone freaked out this morning and didn't go off like it was supposed to and I woke up at 8:20 and had to be at work at 9 for a staff meeting. So I was still trying to wake up when I got to work. I officially feel like I am working half asleep. This is what happens when I don't get an ample amount of time to wake up before having to function...that sounds really stupid but its true.

So this song is now plaguing my mind in the way that songs used to which means I have to write, there is a message here that I have to share.

Here are the song lyrics for those of you that haven't heard this amazing song before:

Chris Tomlin:

Breathe on me, breath of God, breathe on me

Breathe on me, breath of God, breathe on me

I come alive, I'm alive when you breathe on me

I come alive, I'm alive when you breathe on me

Chorus:

Awake, awake, awake my soul,

God resurrect these bones

From death to life, for you alone

Awake my soul

Speak to me, word of God, speak to me

Speak to me, word of God, speak to me

I come alive, I'm alive when you speak to me

I come alive, I'm alive when you speak to me

Chorus:

Awake, awake, awake my soul,

God resurrect these bones

From death to life, for you alone

Awake my soul

Lecrae:

Then He said to me,

Prophesy to these bones and say to them,

Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord!

This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones,

I will make breath into you,

And you will come to life.

So I prophesied as I was commanded.

As I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound,

And the bones came together, bone to bone.

And I looked, and tendons and the flesh appeared on them,

And skin covered them, but there was no breath in them.

Then He said to me,

Prophesy to the breath,

Prophesy, son of man, and say to it,

Come from four winds, oh breath, and breathe.

Chorus:

Awake, awake, awake my soul,

God resurrect these bones

From death to life, for you alone

Awake my soul

Awake, awake, awake my soul,

God resurrect these bones

From death to life, for you alone

Awake my soul

Lecrae:

Yeah, I'm not alone, I realize

I breathe out, I come alive

Your word gives life to my dry bones

Your breath tells death it can ride on

Awake me, make me a living stone,

A testament to your throne, I

I'm nothing without you, I'm on my own

The only one who satisfies my soul

This song is a great collaboration between Chris Tomlin and Lecrae, but it is so much more than just beautifully sung words. I feel like this really is what my soul is crying out today. I'm sitting here in my office realizing we have completed my third semester of the children's program....and only have a couple weeks left in the other programs before we break for the Holiday season. We are planning all things 2014 and I can't figure out what happened to 2013. This last year, actually the last two years, have been such a blur that I'm pretty sure I just walked through and I have no idea what actually happened.

There has been so much change, stress, pain, frustration, blessings, and change that I think somewhere I put myself on auto pilot just to survive. I don't know how many times I have found myself just staring at the wall, for who knows how long, because my brain is just done. I can't believe I have been here at this church for three semesters worth of programming, and I still feel like I have no idea what I'm doing or how this works. I think that is because the first two I was so overwhelmed that I just made it work and this last semester I have been so overwhelmed on a different level that this is how it worked. But I can't keep doing it this way. It is not healthy for anyone to live life, and do ministry in state of overwhelmed.

As a church council we are planning a retreat where we will sit down and discern what exactly God is calling our church to do. The book study I just completed was basically saying the same thing, and I have been drowning in things that I have to do that I haven't even been able to discern, when that is what I can feel my heart trying to do. I feel like my prayer life has recently reawakened and it is opening up a lot of possibilities that have been held back, because of all of the "have tos" in my life.

I'm tired of being a pile of bones going through the motions of life in ministry. I'm waking up and its a glorious feeling. It is time to be who I was created to be and to stop letting these things weigh me down. It is time for my creativity and passion to wake up and come alive.

Awake My Soul!