I have never really been a fan of Valentine's Day, I mean I don't know as a kid, I'm sure it was fun to pick out Valentine's for my classmates and who didn't look forward to the party the was coming? But as I got older and really started to understand, I just never really jumped on that bandwagon. It was always special or fun to get a carnation from your boyfriend or best friend at the end of the day but that was all the fun to it. And then of course I was single for "forever" and no one enjoys Valentine's Day when they're single.
Everyone told me my feelings would change when I had a boyfriend but they didn't, and here's why:
- It really has nothing to do with love, it's about inflicting fear and panic and expectation so that you will spend gobs of money on your significant other.
- If chocolate and jewelry really equal love, then I guess I don't know what love is.
- It's expected on this day, to shower your loved one with gifts. That is not romantic, there is no spontaneity in that, no real meaning....Here is a dozen roses because this day says I have to buy them for you.... It means a lot more when you get a note and a rose on a day for no reason that's when flowers can help say I love you.
- Men run around stores in pure fear before Valentine's Day, it's just as bad as forgetting an anniversary or a birthday.
The truth is I want chocolate all of the time. Flowers are dead, they look pretty for a couple days, a week or two if you're lucky then you have throw them out. And jewelry is expensive and it hold meaning because of who it comes from, Diamonds don't equal love. I have more stuffed animals than I know what to do with and I could come up with something for whatever else people give on Valentine's Day.
Growing up I watched my parents be in love every day. They don't do anniversaries, birthdays, or silly trivial holidays like Valentine's Day. As kids we got to go shopping for these events, and they always made sure we had gifts for these, but they never did for each other. I always found it humorous when they would stand in the card aisle and pick out a card and hand it to each other read it, smile, laugh, then put it back. I don't know a greater marriage than the one I witnessed growing up, my parent's are each other's best friend and they are team. They make each other better without ever putting the other down. Their love has never been based on anything materialistic. They spoil each other, but not always with things purchased. They spoil each other with love.
Valentine's Day seems to be a way for you to show the rest of the world how much your significant other loves you, it really has nothing to do with the way you actually feel for each other. And I don't need the world to see how I feel or how he feels about me.
Love isn't something that has to be flashy or over the top. Love is a feeling, and an action. Love is something you do, love is a choice. When you love someone you should be loving them every single day. You wake up each day and commit to love that person in all their forms. I hate being told what I have to do, and the truth is I don't have to love anyone, especially not in a life long commitment kind of way. I was always told I have to love my brother because he is blood and family. But if that were true then families wouldn't fall a part.
Love is a choice. A very big choice. The only way relationships last is when both parties choose each day to love the other person for who they are. And love, real love, or true love comes from God. I can't truly love someone without God being a part of that relationship. Without the grace of God, all I'm going to see are the imperfections and annoyances. With God, I see the amazing things this person does for me, and the amazing things that make this man the one I love.
God is love. God = Love. Nothing I can spend my money on equals love. Yes, it amazing to get little gifts now and then, little reminders that they care. But that is it, they are reminders that someone cares, not love.
Chocolate =amazingly delicious
Jewelry = an expensively beautiful way to show the world you care about me
Stuffed animals = something to cuddle when you're gone
God = love.
So yes, this does mean that Adam got it really easy today, he did not have to run in fear to Wal-Mart to try and make the day special. I don't need those things to know he loves me, its all in the way he treats me, and makes me a priority, and in the words themselves.
"Love is patient, Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
If you're in a relationship this holiday give each other a break, read through this verse and tell me where all those things he didn't buy fit in. Show each other grace and forgiveness, those are much greater gifts than anything you can spend your money on, besides it will all be half price tomorrow!
If you're single today...don't fret, this holiday doesn't equal love. Surround yourself your favorite people, and just enjoy this Friday, for that is what it is. Friday!
2 comments:
I like to think I'm in a nice balance between over-celebrating the holiday and hating it. I enjoy it, but I pretty much love all holidays and an excuse to do something we might not on a random Friday, but we don't go crazy for the gifts and we make sure to show and tell each other we love each other often. I don't judge the people that love the holiday, nor the people that hate it, but I think there's a happy middle that more people should be in.
I really enjoyed your writing on Valentine's Day! How true we have caught up with being over interrupted. We should show our love each and everyday. A handwritten note every now again is nice both ways to write your thought of appreciation to the one your given it to.
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