The Power of the Name of Jesus

I'm not a Children's Pastor, I don't know if I can stress that enough. Many people think that children and youth are the same thing, if you work with one then you can work with the other. Well the truth is I can work with both but I was not called to work with both. I'm learning that for me children's ministry is like a crowd of people to an introvert....which I also happen to be. I am very capable of serving in this ministry, and my job requires me to do so, but it happens to be the most draining part of my job. It is really hard to say that because it sounds like I don't like children and they just drive me crazy, that isn't true, I love kids, babysitting is fun for a couple of hours, but it takes everything I have to lead a children's ministry. People assume that if you are young, look young, ever act young, are called to ministry, like children & youth, or any combination of the above then you are going to be a great children's minister....People shouldn't assume!

We just had our Christmas program on Sunday, and this was my first year to lead it. Last year I helped the middle school kids learn their parts and ran the sound system, but this year it became my baby. When the time came for us to start planning the program everyone started asking who was going to lead the program, by default all eyes turned to me. I had figured this would happen but I wasn't going to volunteer until I had to. I have a problem of not being able to say no to people, and when you can tell in their eyes that they consider it part of your job it makes it even harder. Then you throw in the fact that a Christmas program is partially theatrical, and I LOVE theatre, I said I would do it. I dug through my desk and found an old script and asked around to see when was the last time it was done. As I read the script is seemed very familiar.

'Twas the Night Before, was the script I decided on. I typed it up so the kids could highlight their parts and we could change the songs and things if we needed to. I sent out emails and told the kids when to show up to practice. We practiced 7 times before the kids performed on Sunday. I left almost every rehearsal with no voice and just wanted to go to bed. This variety of ages that just wanted to play after school and talk and just have fun was wearing me down. The problem was that I viewed this as just part of my job. Another thing that wasn't in my job description when I signed on but was tacked on after (there seems to be a lot of that).

Thankfully this church has a large supply of costumes from past shows, so I pulled them all out and picked out what the kids would wear. I ended up with 3 angels, 12 little angels, 2 readers, 3 wise men, 4 shepherds, Mary & Joseph, and an exhausted & sick youth pastor (that's me). After every practice I just wanted to crawl in my bed and sleep until the new year. I'm a perfectionist, and there is no way to get perfect or even close with children....and young youth. We had a large funeral the Friday before the Christmas program so my program prep was pushed back and my normal week turned into an over 50 hour week. Not including the 10 hour day of the program.

Needless to say I was stressed, ready for the day to be over, and just viewing this event as part of my job. Well like everything when working with children and youth, it can be as organized as you want, but the moment they walk in the door things get a little chaotic. We had planned to run through the whole thing an hour before, but kids were late, and new kids showed up and it was just a little crazy. My normal reaction is to get super stressed and not enjoy any of it. But I had told myself earlier in the day that I had to at least sort of look like I enjoyed this. So I made my scrooge self listen to Christmas music while I got things ready and made myself be as calm as possible, which got harder the closer to start time we got, but if you know me, I think you would agree that I controlled my anxiety pretty well.

People started coming early like normal, and we did not get to practice, but by that point I didn't really care, the show was what it was, and then I turned around. Walking into the church were my parents and my grandma. It was all I could do not to cry out. I was so surprised, and incredibly humbled. My parents who never missed a show of my theatre career were there with camera in hand ready to enjoy another event of mine. And my grandma, the woman who directed every single Christmas Program of my memory, including this one when I was a kid was there to watch. I didn't even realize at that moment just what that meant to me. I felt bad that I had to finish dressing the kids and couldn't talk much.

Then the show started, and ran so smoothly I couldn't believe it. No, it wasn't perfect but it's a Christmas program, it's not supposed to be. I mean they're depicting the Nativity, a scene of birth, a scene of chaos, and love. Our little angels were incredibly cute and hilarious, and they tried to sing Away in the Manger while playing with their halos and trying not to cry. I couldn't help but laugh. The kids with lines remembered every single one of them, and you could actually hear most of them.

How do you not fall in love with this scene? 

They were all so cute, and the music was beautiful, as I sat there, every ounce of this just being part of my job, and not part of my calling melted away. I wanted to go back and enjoy every rehearsal and every part that I found so annoying only moments before.

Then when I started to process yesterday what had just happened I found this picture.

This amazing, crazy, funny girl looks so serene as Mary. The whole day of Sunday she just wanted to hold Baby Jesus. Baby Jesus was a baby doll that I made a special trip home for. This doll that has been around forever, was Jesus in all of the programs I can remember as a child, my grandmother had purchased it because it looked so lifelike. When she moved from her house to her apartment I became the owner of Baby Jesus. The kids first thought it was creepy when I brought it in. But the day of, our Mary seemed to fall in love with this baby. She was so sad when I sent it home with my parents after the show. 

Baby Jesus

It is amazing how when you give something the name of Jesus, it becomes special and revered. This could be the ugliest baby doll in the world but I will always cherish it as Baby Jesus, because that is the name we gave it, and the purpose it was given. This has me thinking that, if I would have gone into this program doing it in the name of Jesus, my attitude would have been so different. My job is ministry, but when I lose focus of the calling that provides my paycheck and it turns into a job then I lose sight of the reason that I do it. I may not be called to specifically Children's ministry, but I'm called to the ministry of Christ, and children are a huge part of that, and children eventually become youth. So now I look forward to the planning of the Christmas program next year, and my attitude is changing towards some of these ministries I have get to do. 

There is power in the name of Jesus:

• baby dolls go from being creepy to beautiful
• jobs become callings
• mountains crumble
• people change

Jesus is more than the reason for this Holiday Season. He is the reason we are here, and we are blessed. He is the reason we get to wake up each day with the hope of tomorrow. He is the reason we are handed the gift of grace and mercy over and over and over again. He is the reason behind my life, and should be focus for every single thing I do. Jesus!

Merry CHRISTmas!!!

These awesome kiddos got me these flowers...and I had a hard time not crying when they game them to me. "Best Director Ever".... more like "Best Kids Ever!"

CHRISTmas

I have spent a lot of time over the past few weeks thinking about Christmas and what it really means, and what it really means to me. As a church we are reading a book through Sunday School called Christmas is Not Your Birthday by Mike Slaughter. I am using the youth study edition for youth group right now called A Different Kind of Christmas. I think reading these books and thinking about it so much has brought to realize why I often find this holiday annoying. I find the American version of Christmas to be quite annoying and I have figured out why.

Santa is the first place that over the past few years I have become annoyed with. It isn't Santa exactly but what we have made him. St. Nicholas the man who became Santa was a very generous priest that wanted to make sure that children didn't go without. He would sneak around and deliver toys or food or money to these families that didn't have enough to provide for their children. He didn't want people to know it was him he just wanted to provide for the poor like Jesus asks us to in the Bible, he didn't need the recognition or glory of his good works, just knowing that these families would be able to live a little easier was enough for him. Somewhere along the line this humble story wasn't enough for us so we gave him magic and sleigh, elves, and reindeer. Now he is a way for us to keep our children in line the rest of the year because you better watch out, he sees you when you're sleeping and he knows when you're awake. This works for children because they don't want to miss out on the amazing toys that Santa brings that mom and dad cannot afford. Instead of helping the poor, sick, and lonely Santa helps feed our selfishness and our greed. So no, I do not believe in Santa Clause, I believe in St. Nicholas' cause.

Christmas music, I have always been somewhat of a Scrooge when it comes to Christmas music. I find it rather annoying that it takes over our radio stations and music at the stores from the day after Halloween until the first of the year. I can only here Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer so many times before I want to scream. But then again I could listen to Mary Did You Know?, Christmas Makes Me Cry, Little Drummer Boy, Where's the Line to See Jesus?, and Go Tell it on the Mountain from now until next Christmas and not get tired of it. I have 57 Christmas songs on my computer, I just checked, and each of them have something to do with the true meaning of Christmas. Sorry, Frosty but you won't find a home on my computer, and Rudolph can find a home somewhere else because Joy to the World, It's about the Cross!

I have learned that sometimes holidays bring out the worst in people. Everyone is striving for the perfect tree, the perfect gifts, the house must be cleaned, and the food better not be messed up. When there are people this winter season that will go without food, and will not be able to stay warm. The book we are reading talks about how this Holiday that we all stress over was never even meant to be a holiday at all. This day of gifts, food, and family started in the most humble of ways, a dark night in a smelly stable a baby was born. A baby, a tiny innocent blessing was born and visited by shepherds, they probably also were smelly and cold and tired. There was not much "perfection" in the first Christmas. If we would have had our way Jesus would have been born in the best hospital in the world, delivered by a world class pediatrician and Mary would not have had to feel any pain. Joseph would have fed her ice chips and held her hand as the Son of God came to Earth in the most beautiful way. He would have been visited by the elite and they would have needed a semi to take all of the gifts home. That is the way we make Christmas seem, with our beautiful nativities and cute little Christmas programs. When the reality of the day is that it was painful, smelly, humble, and yes, beautiful.  This holiday should bring out the best in people. We shouldn't be stressing over our presents and turkeys but should be focusing on a deeper relationship with Jesus Christ. If we lived as Christians all year long then we wouldn't need angel trees, and coat drives during Christmas, everyone would be taken care of all year long, not just during the winter months.

Now I'm just as guilty as everyone else, I LOVE buying people gifts, I don't even need a holiday to do it, but  this is a great excuse to shower the ones I love with things they probably don't need! So yes, I have presents that are waiting to go to the person they were intended for and I can't wait to spend some quality time with my family for the holiday and I will most definitely eat too much food. The fact is though, this Christmas my mind is in a different place. I want to have this joy of the season all year, and "I want the world to see the joy that lives in me" and I have plans for my future family and future Christmases. The truth of the matter is that Christmas is NOT my birthday and I shouldn't be living as if it were. I wish we did presents and things like that on a different day than the day we have chosen to celebrate Jesus' birthday. Christmas Day should be all about Jesus not about us. I think we should all throw a big birthday party for Jesus and spend the day with our families reading His word. Sorry (not sorry), future children, this is what you have to look forward to! :) We can open presents on a different day and Santa will go back to being St. Nicholas.

I want my family to know the true meaning of Christmas from it's humble beginning in Bethlehem to the origins of all the things we have added to it over the years! I see a change in my future Christmases and definitely in my attitude towards this Holiday Season!

I pray you find the true meaning of Christmas this year, and as you open your presents and laugh over the corn left in the microwave again, say a prayer for those left out in the cold and maybe just maybe find a way to share your blessings with those less fortunate than you!

Happy Birthday Jesus, maybe someday we will figure out just how to celebrate the right way, and thank you for your Grace that you love us even though we have taken this glorious humble beginning and turned it into another reason spend money we don't have! <3