The Tides of Change

For someone who isn't a huge fan of change I seem to be doing a whole lot of it at once.

My daily Timehop reminds me that a year ago I was knee deep in wedding planning, and a year before that still trying to figure out how to do my job, and a year before that I was in the process of moving to Hesston.

Sunday marked 6 months until our little one is due and last week marked 7 months of marriage. In two weeks Ranger will be a year old. And on Monday, Adam and I welcomed a 17 year old girl into our home to live until at least her graduation in May.

Typing it all out makes my exhaustion this morning a whole lot more understandable. We're newlyweds in a new to us house, Adam has a new job, and we are months away from a new baby, and now there is a new soul living under our roof.

Some of you may be thinking, Holy Cow this chick is crazy. Well sometimes I feel that way. But I feel like I want to share this story because it might seem crazy but there has definitely been a lot of prayer and thought put into it.

In August of 2006, I was 17 years old and starting my senior year of high school. There was already a pretty solid call onto my life to do some form of ministry. I didn't know back then that you could do youth ministry full time so I had lots of different plans in my mind, but I knew I wanted to help children and share my love for God. But I didn't want to wait until I was older, I knew there was something I could do right then.

So I signed up with Big Brothers and Big Sisters of Cowley County. I looked through some papers and picked one that I hoped would be a good match. I signed the form and agreed to seeing her one hour a week for 6 months. Much to my surprise this girl who looked like me, stole my heart, the heart of my entire family, and in two months from yesterday we will celebrate our 9 year anniversary.

6 months, that's all I agreed to, and here I am 6 months from bringing my own child into the world and that beautiful blonde girl that I took out for so many ice cream dates is living in my home.

Being her big sister was the hardest thing I had to do as a 17 year old. But her life is completely the opposite and for the last month and a half her life was better being on the run than in the group home she had been placed in. So after a long conversation with my husband, many tears and phone calls, and oh so many prayers. We signed the paperwork, we went  through the steps and brought her home. Where now I can worry about her in my own house. She will have the opportunity to have a real senior year of high school. She will play sports, play in the band, go to church, do her homework, have a part time job, and hopefully enter adulthood with half a chance to stand on her own two feet and make something of herself.

She has always wanted to live with me and for first time we actually were her best option for a good life. So today as I sit in my office wondering why I can't focus on planning the two camps, and one speaking engagement that will consume the next three weeks of my life, it became apparent to me that I had to write this.

I know so many people are going to question this decision that we have made and will ask if we have thought this through. I mean we have a baby on the way. I can guarantee you that thinking things through is never something I under do. It often drives my husband crazy just how much I think something through. This decision really came down to the fact that we were capable of giving this child of God the best possible opportunity she had to be successful in this life. And being who I am, I cannot walk away from something that is so apparently God knocking on my heart. Jesus told his disciples to feed his sheep. That's what we're doing.

So if you are on the negative side of this decision I don't want to hear it. God is guiding this and we have put this in His hands. Every young person deserves a chance to be loved, nurtured, guided, and to be young. I had all of that and it isn't like this girl walked in off the streets into our lives. She has been in my life longer than my husband. She is my longest relationship. We appreciate all of your prayers and your support as we enter parenthood six months early with a teenager! Thank you!