Tonight I have just felt off, not sick and nothing really wrong, just off. Tonight as I rocked Adah before bed, she decided to randomly pick a different song than we normally rock to. She selected "Loving My Jesus" by Casting Crowns. Now the chorus is stuck in my head, and here I sit in the office typing!
These are the words playing in my heart tonight,
Loving my Jesus
Showing my scars
Telling my story of how mercy
And I pray the whole world hears
The cry of my heart
Is to see all the ones I love
Loving my Jesus
This morning I had a chat with one of the counselors who is discerning his future and where God is calling him to be. This is one of my favorite parts of my job! During this conversation, I shared pieces of my own ministry journey, the highs and lows, and where I heard God calling loud and clear and where I sat in despair wondering if I misunderstood.
It is so easy to stroll through life with a false confidence, looking and acting as if I have it all figured out. And yet the moments that I live for, are when I am able to be real and honest, which requires me to show my scars and flaws. Tonight this has me pondering how different this world would look, if we all showed our brokenness and used our scars to serve others? Why are we so scared to be our true selves?
Why do we put on the front of having it all together, when those around us are feeling things that we know so well?
If more people were honest about how tough marriage is, would we have less divorces? If parents didn't feel so isolated in their exhaustion and stress, would more children have beds to sleep in and hugs and kisses? If more people were honest about how their bank account is empty and they are living on a prayer till pay day, would more people have full tummies and bills that are paid?
We live in a nation that strives for perfection and having it all together. There isn't any part of the American Dream that shows a person battling mental health and still providing for their family. No, the American Dream shows us perfect people making lots of money, owning houses and cars, and perfect happy smiling families.
I have a different dream. My dream for over a decade now has been Agape Dreams. God's Love in this world in deep, power, lasting ways. I really believe for this to happen we must be who we really are. In a transparent, #nofilter kind of way!
What are your scars that God might be calling you to share with someone tonight? Could your rocky marriage save someone else from walking away? Could your tithing journey help someone out of debt? Could your years of parenting a stubborn sleepless child help a mother who is at her whit's end? Could your homesick, middle school self, convince a current middle school child to stay at camp just one more night?
You have walked your journey, you have a purpose. Love your Jesus and share Him with those you love in the way that only you can!
Ecclesiastes 3:11a "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart;"
Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
