October 20, 2024, will forever be a special day for Adah. We were on our way to church and the song "Goodbye Yesterday" by Elevation Rhythm came on the radio.
"Goodbye yesterday
I'm living in the light of a new day
I won't waste another minute in my old ways
Praise the Lord I've been born again
(I've been born again)"
This line came on, and she said, Mom, "what does it mean to be born again?"
So I told her that being born again is when you ask Jesus to live in your heart forever.
She promptly looked out the window at the sky and said, "Jesus, I want you to live in my heart forever."
We then walked through asking Jesus to forgive her sins, and she acknowledged that He is the one and only savior, and she wanted him with her always.
So I told her that she was in fact born again, and October 20th would always be her 2nd birthday! She was so giddy and excited.
This morning, October 21st. We listened to the song again on the way to school and then followed it with "Good Day" by Forrest Frank, which is on our morning playlist. I paused it and asked her if she knew why songs like Good Day and I'm So Blessed are so important to us? She said, "No." So we talked about how no matter what our days bring us we can know that it is a good day and we are blessed because we have Jesus in our hearts, because of yesterday she could always have a good day no matter how the world acts. She then said, "But I thought Jesus already lived in my heart." I said, "That is correct, yesterday you just chose to ask him there permanently." Then she bounced out of the car and off to school.
I grew up a Christian, I can't tell you of a single born-again moment in my life. So it never occurred to me that my children, who also are being raised in the church would have one, and it was so incredibly special and mind-blowing. Adah has always had a profound understanding of who Jesus is and who He is to her, this along with her divine understanding of death has been blowing my mind since she was a toddler. It has been so easy to get stuck in the things that are hard for Adah in this life. School is not easy, she struggles each day to control her emotions and the ADHD brain that she has been blessed with. She is anxious and loving and so many things. I have never met a more stubborn human being, and have spent her life choosing my battles, and usually feeling quite defeated. Since I work in ministry, it has never been an option to not go to church or be a part of a faith community. But lately, I have been wondering if I'm doing this right? Mom guilt is the worst.
My song for parenting Adah has always been "Oceans" by Hillsong. And the line, "Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders," often haunts my mind. I used to wonder why that was her song, and then I came to realize that being Adah's mother is the place where my trust is without borders, this is where I'm walking on water reaching out to Christ. I wasn't called to a mission field across the world but to one in my own home. Walking this stubborn child through the waves of life is where I have been called to be. So many times I find myself at a loss in motherhood, the day-to-day is hard. Balancing all the activities, with the educational needs, and making sure we balance screen time with play time can just about undo me. Sometimes if I'm honest, I find myself in the laundry room wishing I had taken Paul's writing in 1 Corinthians a little more to heart and stayed single in ministry! (haha) Yes, ministry with others was so much easier when I was on my own, but my ministry keeps adapting and changing. My calling into Youth ministry includes the youth in my household and when I remember this, motherhood isn't quite so daunting.
So here we are in another mind-blowing reminder as to who God has called me to be, and my children to be. At the end of the day, we are called his children! My children are really his children on loan to me, my job as a mother is to make God known to them in their real lives, in the small moments and the big ones! October 20th will forever be a special day worth celebrating for the born-again birthday, and the reminder that we are chosen by the creator of the Universe to love and be loved!
